why won't he answer the phone. how fuckin mature is that? why does he say one thing and then not wanna work it out. why does he treat me like shit. why does he take that tone with me. what did i do?
i just got mad at him because i wanted him to console me somehow from what i went through earlier that day. i was driving and then the tire got fucked up and i had to pull of to the side of the road. that shit happens all the time right? well i've been through a really traumatic experience when it comes to cars. like going nose first into a street light. where the impact was so strong it knocked the light down. so even the smallest, slightest thing that happens is a huge thing for me. i most likely have ptsd. so of course i want my boyfriend to make me feel better, thats what he's there for. apparently not. instead he gives me some reply that he would probably tell one of his guy friends, "it's no big deal." hahhh
& i knew this would happen again. just from my last entry, i felt it coming.
you know how sometimes you feel like your dreams might have an effect on what happens on reality. last night i had a lot of nightmares.
"i don't wanna lose you."
then fucking fight back. otherwise that dream of his is gonna come true. i still remember him telling me about it. he called me after he woke up from it, telling me that i was at a party with him and then i disappeared.
i will disappear if he keeps treating me like shit. which lately, has been almost everyday.
i'm tired of going through this. if i'm the only one caring then i'm gonna make it so that no one cares at all.
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